Would You Rather??

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to a co-worker of mine. She concluded her year long battle with an agressive cancer. One of the wierd things about death is that it is unexpected even when it is expected. Knowing she only had a short time I was still surprised by the phone call advising of her passing.

I was tempted to try to write something profound and insightful about death, but then realized I didn't really have anything like that to say.

So instead I'd like to pose a question: Would you rather die painless and suddenly but you didn't get to say goodbye to your loved ones or would you rather have an idea of when you would die and therefore could make peace with those around you but had to suffer greatly in the process?

I don't suppose there is really a right answer to this, just interested in your thoughts.

Comments

  1. Wasn't really planning on dying but here goes. Selfishly, I suppose a person would rather go in their sleep or at least quickly and painlessly. Selflessly, a person would like for OTHERS to be able to make peace and say goodbye, offering maximum opportunity for me and my closest peeps to do the most good out of it.

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  2. Your questions strikes a very tender nerve for me and I found myself tearing up before I finished reading it. It is a difficult question you pose. On one hand if one dies suddenly, there is less pain for the one that passes, but the ones left behind may be left with doubts or questions, and the pain of no goodbye...on the other hand, if one dies slowly there is time to tie up loose ends, make peace, find God, say goodbyes. but the pain is the same if not greater for both the one that is going to meet God and the ones that have to watch it happen. My father died a very painful death to cancer....I hated watching him waste away to a hollow shadow of what he was, I hated seeing what the cancer did to him, such big strong hands, able to do anything, reduced to having his youngest son shave shave him. Would I have rather had God take him quickly, at this point I am afraid I do not have an answer. He found the Lord before he died which was a blessing. I hated seeing him suffer the way he did, but there were a few brief moments toward the end, where his eyes were not lost...he would look at me, not through me....but actually look into the eyes of his son and he would give me a half smile and manage to muster the strength to let me know that it was alright.

    Would I have rather not seen him that way, of course. Would I have regretted not saying goodbye, of course.

    I'm sure this won't help. but you struck a chord kiddo.

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  3. Me,Myself I would rather be taken quickly or in my sleep, no one wishes a long, painful death.
    I don't think this would be about myself but about the ones left behind. It would be about easing their pain of the loss.
    Not knowing would causes less long term pain for me but I think in knowing the outcome it would better help the ease the minds of those around me to be less shocked, better to deal with everything.
    All of us know that we are here for a short time, we just don't know how short.
    So with that being said....don't wait..tell the people in your life what they mean to you...the people you love that you love them every day...let it be the last thing they hear from you on your parting each day.....make amends with those you feel wronged you....holding grudges only hurts you......in other words live your life with no regrets...spend time with the important people in your life..... be kind to all that cross your path each day....and that is what they will remember when you are gone.

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