What are YOU insecure about?

I'm currently sitting in a school board meeting and it is interesting to see the process of people approaching the board and presenting their concerns. They say that the greatest fear for people is public speaking. I can see this in the trembling hands and voices of those approaching the microphone, yet I'm impressed with each of these people for facing their fears and embracing the opportunity to speak in this public setting. I'm especially impressed with those whose speaking skills are lacking as their act is all the more courageous.

It got me to thinking though about why public speaking is so scary.  The best thing that I came up with is that we are terrified about what people will think of us.  Ultimately, the fear of doing anything public is rooted in our own insecurities.  What is interesting is all of us are insecure but we live in a society that frowns upon that.  We worship those who appear strong and confident, insecure about nothing.  As a result we hide our insecurities at all costs, trying desperately to hide from the world who we really are.  The sad thing in all of this is that our insecurities are what make us most alike.  They are the most real things about us, yet we hide them.  Essentially, holding back the very things that could and would unite us the most. 

When we assume we are the only ones that feel the way we feel and we are kidding ourselves.  That is why our favorite forms of comedy often focus on those awkward moments we can all relate to.  It resonates with us because we all know the feeling.

I've decided I want to connect with my fellow human beings and as a result this will require that I become much more vulnerable.  I'm insecure in that I really like to be liked.  I have a hard time accepting the idea that someone might not like me and I have a tendency to act in different ways around different people so as to increase the my chances of being liked.  Most of the time I don't feel qualified to do any of the tasks that I take on but I don't want others to know that, I want to appear squared away so I don't like asking for help.  Just ask my neighbor who had to help me with the mess I made of trying to install my water softener.

Sometimes I will ask one of those fishing questions, where you ask a question where the indirect intent is to seek some sort of affirmation.  I'm also insecure in the idea that perhaps my wife will not be impressed with me or that now that she knows me well might second guess her decision to be with me.  She's done nothing to cause this, it's just my own private insecurity.  I'm also very concerned about being a good enough father to my kids.  I fear I lack the wisdom to guide them during their teenage years.  Why?  I don't know....It's just a fear of mine.  Why am I sharing this?  Really, its just to practice being real.  And to be honest, that really wasn't that bad.  Actually, it felt kinda good.

Hmmm, interesting.  So, how bout you?  What are you insecure about? 

P.S.  I'm also very insecure about my speling.  

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