To Lose a Child
I've had the idea for this blog for quite some time now but have hesitated to actually write it due to the sensitivity of the concept combined with my fear of upsetting some readers because of the indescribable pain some of you may have experienced. So with that, I ask for your grace and understanding as I attempt to carefully convey my point.
I was in a park today playing with my three kids and two of their little friends. In between throwing a frisbee and giving pushes on the swings, I couldn't help but remember the fact that I won't always be able to do this. Thankfully, I still have all three of my kids. But....I won't always. I pray I never experience the immense pain of a parent who has lost their son or daughter, and and I would never want to even begin to trivialize that suffering, but I think its important for us to remember if we live long enough....eventually.......we all will lose our "children." We may never lose the son or daughter and with luck we will get to out live them....but our children....they are only here for a short time, maybe 10 or 11 years. After that, they begin to move on in their journey toward adulthood and independence
I've heard it said that there is no pain that can compare to that of a parent losing a child. Those who have experienced it confirm it first hand...those of us who haven't refuse to even think about how awful it would be. But we must be careful...because instead of losing our child terribly and suddenly, many of us instead lose them gradually and quietly. Day by day we forget these moments are precious and temporary for we will only have them in this innocent playful state for a short time, then before we know it the child that climbed into our lap with a book and slept with that silly stuffed animal, or held our hand when we walked, or asked us to play catch is gone, never to return.
Granted it is eventually replaced with a new relationship, one that is still good and beautiful but that will closer resemble a peer and a friend, one in with whom we can take equal pride and love, and one that should be equally appreciated and cherished, but the dynamic will be different.
So in the end, after speaking with many who have lost a child tragically, the truth they always plead for me to understand is that if we still have our children we must remember to savor every second with them because we are not guaranteed to always have them....in fact...it is guaranteed we won't. And it is with that heavy thought that I am going to put the computer down and, while I still can, snuggle onto the couch to take in some cartoons with some little people who won't always be little.
I was in a park today playing with my three kids and two of their little friends. In between throwing a frisbee and giving pushes on the swings, I couldn't help but remember the fact that I won't always be able to do this. Thankfully, I still have all three of my kids. But....I won't always. I pray I never experience the immense pain of a parent who has lost their son or daughter, and and I would never want to even begin to trivialize that suffering, but I think its important for us to remember if we live long enough....eventually.......we all will lose our "children." We may never lose the son or daughter and with luck we will get to out live them....but our children....they are only here for a short time, maybe 10 or 11 years. After that, they begin to move on in their journey toward adulthood and independence
I've heard it said that there is no pain that can compare to that of a parent losing a child. Those who have experienced it confirm it first hand...those of us who haven't refuse to even think about how awful it would be. But we must be careful...because instead of losing our child terribly and suddenly, many of us instead lose them gradually and quietly. Day by day we forget these moments are precious and temporary for we will only have them in this innocent playful state for a short time, then before we know it the child that climbed into our lap with a book and slept with that silly stuffed animal, or held our hand when we walked, or asked us to play catch is gone, never to return.
Granted it is eventually replaced with a new relationship, one that is still good and beautiful but that will closer resemble a peer and a friend, one in with whom we can take equal pride and love, and one that should be equally appreciated and cherished, but the dynamic will be different.
So in the end, after speaking with many who have lost a child tragically, the truth they always plead for me to understand is that if we still have our children we must remember to savor every second with them because we are not guaranteed to always have them....in fact...it is guaranteed we won't. And it is with that heavy thought that I am going to put the computer down and, while I still can, snuggle onto the couch to take in some cartoons with some little people who won't always be little.
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