One Reason Relationships Fail- Our obsession with the Hunt

My wife and I finally took in our Valentine date the other day treating ourselves to a mid-day movie.  We weren't able to do much on the real Valentines day as I took a pretty nasty spill off a horse I was breaking.  After separating my pelvis and wrenching my back pretty badly I was off my feet for a few days with my wife having to be my nurse.

The movie we took in was the typical "chick flick" with the unlikely couple meeting and after getting off to an awkward start they fall in love only to have some type of conflict arise that threatens the relationship.  Then, as usual, the dude makes a fool of himself to demonstrate his great love and they get back together and all is well.  Take 90% of the chick flicks over the past 30 years, insert said plot and simply change out the characters and locations.

This movie bothered me a bit more though as in this situation, the guy was a total (feminine product) who's whole goal in life was to hook up with as many girls as possible and then bolt as soon as they start to get attached.  It concerns me when I look around our society and see the high number of failed relationships and marriages that perhaps we are starting to romanticize the wrong aspects of life.  

I understand movies are to entertain us so I'm not at all casting any blame on Hollywood.  I don't think Hollywood influences our actions nearly as much and they provide the mirror to show us who we already are.  After all, their goal is simply to run and business and make money, so they will give us what we want, and we tell them what we want by what we pay for.  

So with that, it makes sense to me that we worship guys who sleep with as many girls as they can, and we worship the girl that can finally tame this person.  (And if there is one thing I've recently learned its that when you set your mind to taming the wildest creatures you can easily get hurt). In both situations its not really about love or the relationship, its about the hunt!  For the guys its about conquering as many women as we can and for women its about conquering that guy and getting him to settle down with you.  

If this is the fabric with which we use to build our marriages and the foundations of the relationships with whom the raising of our children will be built upon, then is it any wonder we are having such vast relationship problems in our society?  

Mind you I had an extreme comparison as in the few days prior to see this movie, I got to watch my wife of almost 16 years helping me just to stand up.  Our life is probably pretty boring compared to what America is in love with, and sadly, I have to admit I haven't really done a great job of appreciating what I have.  It's pretty humbling to have someone else have to lift your legs into bed for you just so you can lay down straight.  Thankfully, my injuries aren't that bad and I should be back to normal in a couple weeks, but it reminded me of what true love really looks like.  And it reminded me that I have what so many are looking for although sadly, I've often taken it for granted.  So with that, Karra, I love you!  Thank you so much for being my wife and such a great mom to our kids!  I'm sorry I don't express that to you more and that it takes stupid things like this for me to see it.      

In America, we are quite consumed with finding love, but not very concerned with keeping it.  And thus as a society we remain on that never ending merry-go-round of finding then re-finding love, rather than finding and maintaining love.  We will know our priorities have changed when most of the movies are about maintaining stable and committed relationships rather than the hunt.