Special

It’s the plot of so many of our movies, books, and folklore.  An average person who through a series of events rises to overcome odds, sway nations, defeat evil, fill in the blank.  A path of destiny, where a chosen one accepts their fate to become the hero of the story.  

Sometimes the figures are real, historical people who’s heroics propel them to immortality, eternally to be remembers in history’s hall of fame.  Other times they are fictional, characters who obtain powers via getting bitten by insects, struck by lightening, coming from another planet, unassuming wizards, princesses, on and on the list goes.  Special people who stand out from the rest of humanity for their abilities, callings, and fate.  We love the stories, and if we are honest, most of us have at least entertained the idea of being one of these selected individuals.  From sports stars and singers to kings and politicians, we find ourselves attempting to scramble up the ladder of humanity to attain the highest rung we can reach.  

There is something fulfilling about being “special.”  To be revered, remembered, and respected are attributes many of us would love to possess.  And the reason for that is........ well........I don’t know really?  Why is it that we would seek to leave our mark on this world so as to be remembered through the corridors of time?  To received praise and adoration we won’t even be alive to appreciate via people we won’t even know, who haven’t even been born yet?  

I’ve put a lot of thought into this idea and so far, I’ve only been able to reach one conclusion.  Perhaps the reason we crave to be seen as special......is because deep down we fear we are not special at all.....and as a result, we crave affirmation from others to help us convince ourselves otherwise?

But there is a glaring problem with being “special” and that is what it requires.  To be special doesn’t require super powers, fame, talent, money, or power.  No...being special only requires one thing.......and that is people......people who are NOT special.  After all....if everyone is special then nobody is special, so to believe oneself to be “special” requires an innate belief that others are not.  And with that belief, comes the natural fear that maybe we one of the “not special” ones.  

In fact it is our need to be special that often undermines our closes relationships.  For when we feel we are special to someone else, we can become jealous of any affection shown in a direction other than our own.  For some of us, this occurs very early in our lives, especially for first born children, who experience the envy and jealousy of the attention younger siblings receive once they come along.  This behavior can continue into adulthood as we can become possessive of certain relationships and threatened when we decide the attention another gives is reserved first and foremost for ourselves.  

The Apostle Paul once wrote that love....true love....is not jealous.  We struggle with this idea as I’m not sure we understand what “true love” really is most of the time.  I think we have convinced ourselves that true love is the intensity of emotion we feel for others.  But is that really true love?  Or is true love even bigger than that, something that transcends all of us, and something that individually we are not found at the center of?

For if my love is pure, then how could there ever be room for jealousy?  Let’s start with that first born child scenario.  If it were possible for a child of that age to master love, rather than to be threatened by the diversion of attention would they not instead celebrate the additional joy the parents experience and take pleasure that the younger sibling is now getting to experience that same attention and admiration?  

In a world of people who wish to be viewed a special, it will be the ones who don’t see themselves as such that will actually attain that very attribute.  If heaven is ever to be brought to Earth, the goal must be to strive to fill others with the wonder of being loved...while at the same time not being enslaved to the notion that it is the opinions and adoration of others that makes us special, but our mere existence as a creature made in the image of the divine.