The Feminist Parodox

As the father of a daughter, whom I love beyond words, one of the most frustrating things in life to me is to see the mixed messages that are directed toward her from a movement that claims to be in her best interest.  

The modern feminist movement has told my daughter that she’s the same as a boy, that she can do anything a boy can do and that women and men are the same.  Then, in the same breath they will chant that men have held women back, that we live in a male dominated society and that men need to relinquish their grip on a patriarchal world and allow women to take their rightful place.  

The intellectual dishonesty that exists within this mindset is astounding to me and it disturbs me greatly in regards to my daughter especially.  To make the claim that you are equal to another....then demand that someone else change their behavior to allow you to experience that equality is by its very nature an argument that supports a mindset of inferiority.   

The recent #metoo movement has made the case that many many women are sexually assaulted, abused, and harassed at the hands of a male dominated society.  And that women are especially scared to speak up for fear of not being heard in a world that will support the position of the man.    

Allow me as a man....and a father....to simply say....that is not a valid argument.  

I can not think of a single good dad that I know who wouldn’t go nuclear over a guy assaulting, abusing, or harassing his daughter.  Notice I qualified that with the term “good dad.”  

The feminist movement has done more to create the need for the #metoo movement than any male element in our society.  For a generation they’ve been burning their bras and expressing that they don’t need men and that they are free to experience their own sexuality.  At the same time, it has absolved women of any responsibility for things that may happen to them using a half truth as its premise.  That half truth being....men should under no circumstances rape, drug, assault, manipulate, fondle, grope, or anything else to a woman that is non-consensual.   And while that is absolutely true....it ignores the fact that there are still men in this world that will rape, drug, assault, manipulate, fondle, grope, and anything else to women that is non-consensual.  And the idea that telling women they must actively prepare and account for those things is some how condoning it.  

To ever say a woman was “asking for it” based on decisions she makes that place her in a vulnerable situation is a complete lie.  Women are never asking for it.  But its also just as dishonest to ignore the fact that in many cases there are steps that can be taken to reduce the likelihood of something occurring.  Empowerment isn’t saying....bad things happen and there’s nothing I can do about it.  Empowerment is recognizing there are actual things I CAN DO to reduce the likelihood of bad things happening.  

As a father, I recognize that my daughter SHOULD be able to go out where ever she wants, she SHOULD be able to wear or not wear whatever outfits she wants, she SHOULD be able to pass out anywhere in society and not worry about being assaulted.  There are lots of SHOULD’S that exist in this world......but the REALITY of the situation is that is simply not the case.  So empowerment means she learns to use that powerful brain God gave her to be able to look at situations and anticipate the likelihood of something bad occurring and take steps to mitigate that rather than complain about a world that isn’t as it SHOULD BE.  

I’ve not been mugged in my life to this point.  But I’m willing to bet I could get mugged tonight if I went to certain neighborhoods at certain times and bumbled through them while inebriated.  If that were to take place, the person that robs me would ultimately be responsible.  But to take the approach that I was a complete victim and could not in anyway have taken steps to lessen the chances of it occurring is NOT EMPOWERMENT it’s the opposite.  And it ignores the fact that PART of the reason I have yet to be mugged is that I have avoided situations that have made that scenario more likely.     

Sometimes awful things just happen....despite our best efforts.... but to teach our girls that no matter what they do, if something bad happens they were powerless to anticipate, predict, or mitigate those circumstances then we are teaching them the opposite of empowerment.....we are teaching them that they are in fact powerless to whatever happens to them in life.  And we teach them to scold a world for not being the ideal world it should be rather than adapt to the flawed world for which it still remains.  That...is empowerment.