The Real Message For #metoo

After the past couple of weeks regarding the Kavanaugh allegations one of the arguments I keep hearing is in regards to what message are we sending the young girls of our society should Kavanaugh confirmed?  Over an over I’ve heard that we are telling women who have been assaulted or raped that their stories don’t matter and that young girls still need to be scared of not being believed should they decide to every come forward and report something that has happened to them.  

As a father of a daughter, this mindset is infuriating to me as it confirms and advocates the complete and total victim mentality that some in our culture seem dead set in locking our daughters into.  

The real message here for young girls is that if something happens to you....when and how you decide to report it ACTUALLY MATTERS!!!!

The idea that you will be believed no matter what simply because you report something is a terrible president to set for our girls.  The truth is, if Kavanaugh really did to to Ford what she says he did, she sadly picked the absolute worst possible scenario in which to reveal it and be believed.....and like it or not.....that matters!

Had Ford come forward any OTHER time in the last 35.9 years with her story, it would have been quite different.  Had she reported it to law enforcement rather than writing a secret letter to a member of congress it would have been different.  Had her story not come out AFTER members of congress declared they would do everything possible to block this nomination to the court it would have been different, had it not come out AFTER protesters were brought into that Senate chambers to disrupt the hearings from the first day it would have been different.  Had her story not been released AFTER the confirmation hearings had concluded with the unsuccessful efforts oppose Kavanaugh by those opposed to him, it would have been different.  Had additional stories of other women, one of which was so absurdly unbelievable that it was dismissed by virtually everyone, it would have been different.  

When people say, “We are teaching our daughters nobody will believe them.”  I’m teaching my daughter that when you report things has an effect on people believing you.  And that is the real message for girls.  When you report things MATTERS! 

To teach our girls anything other than that does not empower them, it weakens them and it undermines the organizational structure of our society.  We can’t just make accusations whenever we want that will be believed under any circumstances and expect to have a functional society.  The lessons we should be teaching our girls are:

1. Report things quickly.

2. Understand the longer you wait the more you will forget elements of the account.

3. Don’t wait until your assailant is famous.

4. Don’t wait until other’s have actively sworn to take all steps possible to oppose your assailant.

5. Go to the proper authorities to report what your assailant did.

6. Under no circumstances ever...........go to congress and expect to get anything but used by a politician.